Posts Tagged ‘Happy’

cant-waitHave you ever gotten a note from a friend and it said, “I can’t wait to see you!”? I have. Usually I like them. (I love mail) And sometimes they come in other forms, I got a voicemail the other night that was stating how it had been too long and we needed to get together. While the distance is kind of sad, knowing they are excited to see me makes it overall feel happy.

But today I got a note that said the same, “I can’t wait to see you!” and it made my heart so sad…

Today I got notes from multiple friends who I used to see every week. We went through a lot of emotions together. We cried. We laughed. We planned. We prayed. And I haven’t seen for quite some time. But I saw them again today. You guessed it. Today was a jail day. Sadly they are back on the inside. I loved seeing them. But I wished it was different. I wished I could hug them. I wished we could be creating halloween costumes for their kids. I wished we could go get coffee, go on a hike, see a movie, really anything other than sit in my office and face the question…”can you believe I’m here?”. Ugh. Sigh. Some days it’s hard to see friends. But it’s still worth it.

Sometimes it’s easy to see God’s hand guiding and directing things. Sometimes it’s hard. Sometimes good situations make you happy. Sometimes good situations make you sad. Sometimes your emotions get all jumbled up because really happy things and really sad things come in the same package. Does this make sense? Let me explain…

I have a friend who just had a baby. (that’s a happy thing.) But my friend is not in a position where she has the ability to keep and care for her baby. (that’s a sad thing.) The happy and sad things come together in this situation.

My friend found an amazing family that wants to adopt her son. They will love him and treasure him. They will raise him knowing Jesus. She couldn’t have picked out a better family to place her son with! (that’s a happy thing.) I sat with her in the hospital as she continued to recover from giving birth. She was across the hall from the nursery, but her baby was not in there. He went home with the new family. (that’s a sad thing.)

Adoption is a fabulous thing. My brother is adopted, and I could not imagine my life without him. But I cannot help remember what he went through before he was my brother. Adoption can’t be all happy. There is a reason kids need to be adopted, and that in itself, no matter the situation, is sad. I think Jody Landers summed it up well in her famous quote…

adoption

I am thankful to have a job where I can go to the hospital and sit with a mother who does not have her child. That I can encourage her to get up and start walking laps around the halls. That when she has people calling her and giving her advice in every direction I can listen. That I can tell her she has a beautiful child and that I am so proud of her desire to give him the best life that she can. I’m thankful to know the family who wants to raise her son. I am praying that all the legal side of things will go through. It is such a huge and exhausting process.

In the next couple of months I am hoping to work full time in this job. It is exciting and adventurous in the sense that I never know what to expect. Some days it’s sitting in a hospital room listening. Some days is driving people from one town to another. Some days it’s writing and responding to tons of emails. Some days it’s coordinating service projects. Some days it’s hanging out at the homeless shelter. Some days it’s sitting at the jail in meetings. Never the same, but always an adventure. Pray with me as I finish raising support in order to switch over to full time work with the church. Pray that God would provide the money that is still lacking through donations. And pray for my friend as she adjusts back to everyday life without her baby. And pray for my other friends as they adjust to life with a baby. Thanks for your prayers! Couldn’t do this alone!